A perverted stare studied her curves. Imaginary touching her, inch by inch, part by part. That expression in her lovely eyes and everything look surreal just from looking at her. Incredible. As his mortal lips wants to kiss her everywhere. Hesitant to approach her, he will then realize that he is in-love, truly, madly in-love. He simply wants to be with her every night and day since he has his motives both good and bad. As love is no accident, for smile is the beginning of every love. Will he confess his love or will he deny it again? Destiny will still find a way through doubts he said. He will wait for the perfect moment. Dubious, he then asked himself, “For how long?”.
It’s been quite a while, I can still see your troubled heart, you’re sad. Your eyes told me everything and with a certain degree of incredulity you want me to rescue you from your destiny. Well, despite of various wishful attempts it seems that no one is looking to save this damsel in distress. No one seems to understand you. As you are and will be forever in a limbo. Stuck between once upon a time and your happy ever after. Stop chasing shadows, stop those crazy thoughts and start believing in yourself. I wish you luck, and definitely luck is what you need.
This is a battle of allegations. Suddenly, love became contempt and disgust. Incongruous as the statement was, horrible decisions made horrible relationships. So sudden, so unsure. Just full of hatred. We are too fool, too different from each other and caught up by everything around us. Perhaps our destiny is in different life. We could just lie within ourselves and then give each other something to hold on or we could just unlove and forget about everything.
His usual impish smile. He had been around long enough that he knew all the tricks and had wept and cried enough. With curious eyes he watched her gestures and the tension in her posture as well as her body language. He then created a world within his own mind, and in that private place he fantasied about her. That buries his solitude for a while. Seclusion adding loneliness to his excess misery. A lonely world wherein his alone, a dream. It’s not his choice of course. He is scared to love, to tell her how much he adored her. Breathing extensively, his eyes woke and turned into sadness.
Forgive her because she can’t hide her brilliance. I adore her as much as you do. As her eyes sparkle every time she smiles. Yet don’t let her innocent appearance fool you. Where every wise man took foolish ideas just to have her, and none of course worked. She’s used to that loving attention everyone offered as she can see you through and through, such cleverness of this young beautiful lady. Nevertheless no one will ever take her place in my heart, as this lady, is the only woman I can see.
PS: Happy Birthday to me
You were so good at showing your feelings before, why not now? You’re scared. Scared of falling into a pit that can easily shatter your heart right away, like last time. You lost everything and gained nothing at all. That’s defeat you see, and everything in you was affected by that mistake. One mistake. You’ve lost faith and became doubtful, so unsure. Okay, fine, you did your best last time, and almost every time you get away with no baggage at all but not this time, not with her. You can try to love again once more like before or you can bury yourself by not letting go of that feeling, in which something is telling me it’s the latter you’ll choose. Don’t get me wrong but just let it go, no explanations, just let it fade away. Don’t ask me how, you’re better that this and you know it. I know you caught everything I just said, as you usually did. But I can see your distrust. It wasn’t your fault really. You merely just assumed.
With the reality of such situation struck him like a personal nightmare in which he may not wake up from. He was too scared to act and react. Knowing he don’t have any say on the matter and his feelings wouldn’t help either. He regrets the time he wasted this whole time and his lost thoughts clouded even more every tick in the clock. Just too surprised. He long yearned for her and the next hour will deliberately tell him what long distance really means. He is happy seeing her every few weeks but tomorrow, tomorrow will start a new phase in her life, ending his. The time remaining is not good enough to collect and say all the things he wants. And extending the time, of course, not possible. Her plane will leave in two hours and he still don’t know what to do. He is willing to wait forever, but today was full of goodbyes and fooling around.
Painfully, some photographs are flat, lifeless, cold reminders of times that would not return. As these pictures have feelings that are too painful to reminisce with. Yet we still keep them because we fear that something so great won’t happen twice, won’t happen again. Contradictorily feeling pain and greatness at the same time, at different set of perspective on how we look at that picture perfect capture.
Though sometimes we discover unpleasant truths along the way and whenever we do so or whenever we feel, we look at that picture with curiosity. On how life could easily ruin an irreplaceable experience and feeling. We could destroy that picture with the help of sadness and bitterness in our inner hearts but we simply can’t, I know, it’s not that simple.
It was impenetrable, so dense. In the midst of contemplation a tear fell. A bottle of whiskey was never enough to console my grief. Right here sitting wasting time writing love letters for her which she will never going to read. She’s beautiful, her charm turned me weak, down on my knees under an irremovable spell. Then I just heard my heart calling her name, perfect antonym of propitious omen. Everything was fine till I answered her every call, clandestinely thinking she’ll fall. Trapped by my own delusions, I fell, with no one catching me under the line I crossed, the unrequited affection took its price; took everything from me.