It’s just too fast and too overwhelming, it’s like a desert storm passed our entwined souls and fate disrupted our flow then everything changed, everything. I can’t keep pace with you anymore, we tried to talk, we tried to try again, still as I gave everything you suddenly gave up, but deep inside me there is a tiny lint of hope that no one could ever understand, maybe it’s called love, maybe it’s just foolish hope.
I blamed everyone for everything, everyone, including myself, everyone, except you, you who are not bound by any mistakes. I know, as they say, it’s my fault for being too attached, for giving too much, I’m guilty as charged. Sadness, pain, shock—mixed emotions that I felt when you left, my written poems that look like violent rants, pictures that are hidden with pain. Despite all of this I didn’t hate you, remember what I said back then? I said, “I just want you to be happy, it’s your decision so you better be happy, likewise if you’re not you’re always welcome to come back.” Honestly, I don’t know what the hell happened to me, why I said that, and up to this time, I still ask myself why did I let you go. Well, I know that regretting will not change anything, but those what-if statements still pop up in my mind from time to time. Yeah, I know it’s about time to fully accept everything, but to put it bluntly, it kills me, you see, it’s not that easy.
People change, but memories don’t. Now, nothing is different except that I’m now trapped by that feeling you caused, that strange feeling that makes us strangers again. You tried to talk to me out of it, but I can’t. Your excuses that I don’t want to hear anymore, your presence I don’t want to feel. I’m sorry for those lame acts that I pulled just to avoid you, I just can’t take it anymore. Our story is not about unrequited one-sided love, it’s about me expecting too much.
