I can still vividly remember this. I was excited, nervous, anxious — a plethora of emotions. T’was intense. Then, she entered slowly through the laced curtains. She was glowing. She seemed like a star that is radiating. Her elegant gown added to her overflowing aura that filled the room and everyone was looking at her — I was looking at her. Everyone was smitten by her and so was I. I was speechless, I felt every heartbeat.
Lenn, our love story starts with emojis in skype, books, and morning kwentuhans. Our colleagues, friends, and some not so important people tried to stop us, but they couldn’t. We fought and proved them wrong. Nobody can stop us.
I just want you to be here by my side, forever, to talk about the stars, to be my co-marites, to eat in every restaurant, to taste every cocktail, to visit all the libraries, to swim in every ocean, and to conquer the world together.
You defended me from everyone, ready to fight for our love to anyone, you held my hand and trusted me with all your heart, and you did not ask anything in return. I know, It wasn’t easy. I will be forever grateful. You’re kind and sweet, smart and beautiful. And as I told you before, no one can ignore your brilliance.
You’re more than enough. You are you. You are my love, my one and only – my ultimate crush – my forever love.
Lenn, I promise you this, as God, family, and friends be our witness. For me, to be there at your weakest, to gain the right to stay by your side at your strongest.
I vow to inspire you, and to love you forever. I vow to be your Kayron(Chiron), who will support, guide and motivate you I vow to be your Grover, a best friend, and a protector I vow to be your Leeyow(Leo), to make you laugh, and to adore you I vow to be your Percy, a partner in every adventure, to annoy you in every possible way, and to fight alongside with you. And lastly, I vow to be a loving and faithful husband, and I will honor you for all the days of my life.
Just being with you has its implications, but we are so sure with our feelings that we stopped thinking straight. Suddenly, complications don’t matter anymore. We just enjoyed every moment until the inevitable kiss happened. We stayed until we saw all the possibilities. A glimpse of each other’s deepest desire. We could wait for another lifetime, but destiny is for fools, so we took the risk. We dropped everything. We both broke the rules just to be here. This is the perfect place, our own little bubble — our own continuum.
If you have an anxiety, depression, or you’re suicidal, you need to know that being in a relationship will not save you from yourself, worst you’ll just hurt your partner emotionally. Love yourself first before looking for someone to love you. You don’t want to hurt your partner. You might have the best, the most understanding, and patient partner but if you’re broken, you’ll just ruin your relationship. A hurtful experience for both of you. You don’t want to miss a once in a lifetime opportunity because of your own doubts and lack of self confidence. Lack of self-esteem will turn into jealousy. Late replies will turn into arguments. No one will last a stressful environment.
Don’t wait for a knight in shining armor or prince charming. Most likely, you’ll just tarnish his shield and stroke his sword unto yourself.
I want to be like a kid again. Innocent with the financial responsibilities, stressful young adult issues, unfair politics, and unjust world. I want to be that kid who’s just silently reading his favorite science articles saved from his Symbian mobile phone downloaded from his Netscape browser. A kid who downloads cheat codes from cheatplanet.com to sell to his peers. An introvert who listens to Parokya ni Edgar and reads Pugad Baboy comics. Teachers hated him for being carefree. He’s silent. He’s shy. He’s stupid. But he’s a fucking dreamer.
Oh, don’t you stare at me like that. You don’t need to. I have fallen a million times already, and I am still falling. No one can ignore your brilliance. Your glow is radiating throughout the room. You’re kind and sweet, smart and beautiful. With your charm, everyone is looking at you. With your charm, I am desperate to make you mine. Yet silence reigned. I thought I was good with words, but with you, I am speechless — just listening. Searching for every subtle hint you might reveal, practically drowning with your overflowing presence. Come closely and listen to my heart, you don’t want to miss its sincerity.
She’ll never be the one that got away. I immediately grabbed her as soon as the opportunity presented itself. Knowing how delicate she can be. A little more complicated as it can be. I never realized it, but I should have known better. I should’ve just walked away. It was far more easier. But, I did what I had to do – I’d rather die than to give up. Then so I chased her.
I want her. I want her every day. I want every bit of her.
She is the type of girl that doesn’t come along every day, so I acted fast. I approached her wearing my most genuine smile. Day by day I tried to impress her, read her favorite book, watched her favorite Netflix Series. I did everything just to catch her precious attention, her attention that every man in the room wants.
Given her innocence, she probably wouldn’t understand. But for me, it seems like a dream. I’m crazy in love with her.
What if I accidentally fell in-love? You were like a dream. Now everyone is looking, talking about us. From prying eyes, let’s turn and run away from everyone. I’ll take the lead. I will spend my whole life listening to all the stories you want to tell. I’m sure it will be all worth it. Because you’re worth it. It is more than all those risks and labels. It is more than the people who judged us. Maybe, the truth will set us free. Maybe it won’t. But we got to try. Take a leap of faith with each other than to miss a lifetime of happiness.
I’m sorry. I fell out of love. You know that we tried. I tried. But I can’t feel you. I looked deep into your eyes, I saw your sadness, your despair. I can feel your distress. Guilt can maintain, and preserve our relationship but I don’t want that. You don’t want that. I know, it is hard to accept the truth, especially since we already made this far but I don’t want to make any excuses. It happened all of a sudden. I didn’t intend to hurt you. I gave up. Now, I just want to thank you for everything. I’m sorry.