I’m sorry. I fell out of love. You know that we tried. I tried. But I can’t feel you. I looked deep into your eyes, I saw your sadness, your despair. I can feel your distress. Guilt can maintain, and preserve our relationship but I don’t want that. You don’t want that. I know, it is hard to accept the truth, especially since we already made this far but I don’t want to make any excuses. It happened all of a sudden. I didn’t intend to hurt you. I gave up. Now, I just want to thank you for everything. I’m sorry.
Our meeting was pure happenstance. Now, I’m here all alone in a particular space of time. A place where I reached my total solitude. I can think of our thousand happy memories together but the thought died aborning. Time will tell how much I love you. Yet time also taught us that everyone has to say goodbye sooner or later. What a cliché. She had me. The feeling was so ugly, so alien. I could say that she cast a spell on me, but like love, happy endings are just for fairytales.
A perverted stare studied her curves. Imaginary touching her, inch by inch, part by part. That expression in her lovely eyes and everything looks surreal just from looking at her. Incredible. As his mortal lips want to kiss her everywhere. Hesitant to approach her, he will then realize that he is in love, truly, madly in love. He simply wants to be with her every night and day since he has his motives both good and bad. As love is no accident, for a smile is the beginning of every love. Will he confess his love or will he deny it again? Destiny will still find a way through doubts he said. He will wait for the perfect moment. Dubious, he then asked himself, “For how long?”.
I wish I wasn’t so foolish to fall in love with her. I’m just a simple boy, incapable to understand, very unworthy of her. A confused boy who tried to set the differences from fairy tales to reality then failed afterward.
I believed that our souls are fate intertwined, that we’re destined to be. She’s the only one. She’s my true karma, someone I can’t read, someone I can’t have. She accidentally made me insecure, wherein I’m trapped for the things I can make, for the things I can create, for the things I can achieve.
There are times wherein you don’t know what to do next, that happened to me when she left. I got no plans, had nothing to lose. All I can think off is her. Truth is I don’t want to write about her anymore, I know for a fact that she’d love to hear that I finally moved on, but what can I do? I’m just a writer who selfishly writes about what I truly feel. Writing since the day our paths crossed, when I found true love through her, to the day we made our promises, to our first fight, and when she finally left, to the day I painfully accepted defeat. After that, all posts are hopeless romantic ones. Each entry contains facts, posted a little late. Each entry contains sad memories of us. Each contains true love that I want to constantly prove to her.
Months passed, every morning became another heartache, every cold night got me wishing we’re still talking to the phone like before, to the day I became numb to the pain, to this day I’m still reminiscing our almost happily ever after. Funny thing is she just hates me for not giving up on her. Now I can’t believe that she won’t talk to me. I tried everything. I did everything. I miss the love that is almost there, almost there, and then suddenly without any warning my Cinderella was gone.
What am I blabbering about? Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me, and these are rubbish tales of anguish and bitterness. I loved you, I love you, and I will always love you.
PS: Happy Birthday to me
Baby, you know that I’m guilty of loving thee
My love for you will never set me free
You’ll be my forever desire my love
Promise me that we will never be apart
It was the kind of smile that could have meant anything, or more likely, nothing at all. That ingenious smile that she had. The ability to manipulate the people around her came easily. She had the spark in her eyes that could break anyone attention. The more you stare into her brown eyes, the more you fall into her world. You’ll see her as if she glows and lit from within. Everyone likes her, we all do. The worst part is I’m in love with her, loved her fully as a man could.
Sinking sun into the dark abyss
Hollow night engulfs everything
Timely death nasty defeat
Bloodish ink pouring out
Bitter rantings came between
Deep scars in his poor heart
yet your light brought new desires
Dazzled by your sweet thoughts
Caught off guard by your smile
Scared yet can’t stop his feelings
Accidentally he’s in love again
Oh hale the beauty of Aphrodite from within
Thou art captivated by her seductive body
The cradle of her sweet voice echoing
Her mysterious aura gives calm in him
Nonetheless, she condemned him to solitude
Then everything means nothing to him
All his reasons become blind
She’s an angel in disguise
I’d never imagined that this day will come
The person that I once loved was gone
She left a permanent scar carved in my heart
Bloodish red pouring out of my chest
Can you imagine how painful it seems?
For you my biggest failure and my biggest mistake
Former lovers, now we are just strangers
Strangled by our own twisted fate
Walking away forgetting the story
The love that once we shared
Hands that before intertwined
Now I’m all alone it’s hard to stand
Yet it seems that fate brings me back to you
It isn’t goodbye that makes us strangers
Neither that hurtful pain, anguish nor loneliness
It’s the scary thought of falling in love with you again