With the reality of the situation struck him like a personal nightmare in which he may not wake up from. He was too scared to act and react. Knowing he doesn’t have any say in the matter and his feelings wouldn’t help either. He regrets the time he wasted this whole time and his lost thoughts clouded even more every tick in the clock. Just too surprised. He long yearned for her and the next hour will deliberately tell him what long distance really means. He is happy seeing her every few weeks but tomorrow, tomorrow will start a new phase in her life, ending his. The time remaining is not good enough to collect and say all the things he wants. And extending the time, of course, not possible. Her plane will leave in two hours and he still doesn’t know what to do. He is willing to wait forever, but today was full of goodbyes and fooling around.
Though it was so perfect
Her love died in utter silence
While he is willing to wait forever
Maybe they’re destined to be
Counting on some hopes maybe
Yet time flies so fast for eternity
Piecing everything back together
Best times he once had with her
With her innocent charming smile
No, he’s still right there like before
And time didn’t make any difference at all
Painfully, some photographs are flat, lifeless, cold reminders of times that would not return. As these pictures have feelings that are too painful to reminisce with. Yet we still keep them because we fear that something so great won’t happen twice, won’t happen again. Contradictorily feeling pain and greatness at the same time, at a different set of perspective on how we look at that picture perfect capture.
Though sometimes we discover unpleasant truths along the way and whenever we do so or whenever we feel, we look at that picture with curiosity. On how life could easily ruin an irreplaceable experience and feeling. We could destroy that picture with the help of sadness and bitterness in our inner hearts but we simply can’t, I know, it’s not that simple.
It was impenetrable, so dense. In the midst of contemplation, a tear fell. A bottle of whiskey was never enough to console my grief. Right here sitting wasting time writing love letters for her which she will never be going to read. She’s beautiful, her charm turned me weak, down on my knees under an irremovable spell. Then I just heard my heart calling her name, perfect antonym of propitious omen. Everything was fine till I answered her every call, clandestinely thinking she’ll fall. Trapped by my own delusions, I fell, with no one catching me under the line I crossed, the unrequited affection took its price; took everything from me.
The girl of the morning dew
Surrounded by a beautiful mist
She liked her full solitude
A man was enticed by her grace
He who constantly looking at her
Adored her secretly passionately
Looking at her as if she’s a goddess
He struggled hard to fight emotions
Separated by a worldly fate
He can’t just fall into such dreams
After each day his feelings matured
He waited, longed, and loved
Craziness’ filled his empty heart
Then his hesitations leave behind
Gathered all the courage he has
Confronts her to speak about his love
Stuttering, nervous, feeling the gravity
Regrets engulfed while time stopped
Someone already owns her heart
I wish I wasn’t so foolish to fall in love with her. I’m just a simple boy, incapable to understand, very unworthy of her. A confused boy who tried to set the differences from fairy tales to reality then failed afterward.
I believed that our souls are fate intertwined, that we’re destined to be. She’s the only one. She’s my true karma, someone I can’t read, someone I can’t have. She accidentally made me insecure, wherein I’m trapped for the things I can make, for the things I can create, for the things I can achieve.
There are times wherein you don’t know what to do next, that happened to me when she left. I got no plans, had nothing to lose. All I can think off is her. Truth is I don’t want to write about her anymore, I know for a fact that she’d love to hear that I finally moved on, but what can I do? I’m just a writer who selfishly writes about what I truly feel. Writing since the day our paths crossed, when I found true love through her, to the day we made our promises, to our first fight, and when she finally left, to the day I painfully accepted defeat. After that, all posts are hopeless romantic ones. Each entry contains facts, posted a little late. Each entry contains sad memories of us. Each contains true love that I want to constantly prove to her.
Months passed, every morning became another heartache, every cold night got me wishing we’re still talking to the phone like before, to the day I became numb to the pain, to this day I’m still reminiscing our almost happily ever after. Funny thing is she just hates me for not giving up on her. Now I can’t believe that she won’t talk to me. I tried everything. I did everything. I miss the love that is almost there, almost there, and then suddenly without any warning my Cinderella was gone.
What am I blabbering about? Maybe my mind is playing tricks on me, and these are rubbish tales of anguish and bitterness. I loved you, I love you, and I will always love you.
PS: Happy Birthday to me
Baby, you know that I’m guilty of loving thee
My love for you will never set me free
You’ll be my forever desire my love
Promise me that we will never be apart
When reasons end, faith begins
When faith begins, truth misleads
When truth misleads, perception plays
When perception plays, chaos raise
When chaos raise, hope starts
When hope starts, reasons live
I found those pictures I took
Memories I don’t want to lose
How can you easily let go of me
Now waiting for you is all I’ll ever be